STOP PRESS

It's not happening

I am literally beside myself.

I have just taken a phone call from the drug trials team telling me that my liver function (from my blood tests last week) is through the roof and is way above where the trial will allow it to be.

Therefore chemo is cancelled and I won't be able to go in for the trial AT ALL.

My oncologist is in Bristol today so I can't even see him until tomorrow at the earliest where I've got to just rock up in the afternoon and hope he can fit me into his clinic so he can look at the other options for me in terms of chemo.  Also I'll need another blood test tomorrow to check things out again, and they hope they can get me in later this week into the Rowan suite for whatever Dr P agrees to put me on instead.

I am absolutely shitting myself as my liver function should be at an upper limit of 40 but is over 100. Apparently, my liver function was 82 when they took my bloods a couple of weeks ago to see if I was eligible for the trial - and I should have been rejected at that stage as the upper limit for the trial is 80, but someone in the trials overlooked that!!  Therefore, I have been on no active treatment for a number of months now as we know that the hormone treatment hasn't been working, so that means everything is growing inside me and there is nothing trying to stop it, and now this has delayed things even further.

I am panicking. I am in a right state.  What if my liver is too far gone for them to do anything about.

I'm not religious, but pray for me.